2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

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The Frugal Gourmet
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby The Frugal Gourmet » Sat Jun 02, 2018 11:17 pm

That makes them the gayest team in hockey.

But we already knew that,

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Knives Out
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby Knives Out » Sun Jun 03, 2018 12:12 am

I hope San Francisco gets a team.
That Hanzal's so hurt right now.

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slaps
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby slaps » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:43 am


SaintAngerBH
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby SaintAngerBH » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:13 am

Why would anyone stay with that franchise?
~Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

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ScubaSteve
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby ScubaSteve » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:15 am

Low pressure, no media hassling you, lower cost of living. You can make your money and live a pretty carefree life, as long as you don't give a *poo poo* about your team winning. Same reason anyone would sign here.
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Eskimo Spy wrote:I would of course make some jokes if any of you died

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wonko80
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby wonko80 » Tue Jun 12, 2018 9:19 am

Maybe he's really into GILFs.

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Troy McClure
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby Troy McClure » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:18 am

Short seasons. You play your 82, and then have five months off.
I got a ranch in downtown Dallas/I buy diamonds by the ton/Chase cuties in my Cadillac/Drill oil wells just for fun/But when it comes to boots, I need a deal/That will fit me right, toe to heel/So I get my boots at Western Warehouse.

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The Frugal Gourmet
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby The Frugal Gourmet » Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:43 am

Eh. Everyone that is bad is eventually good again. And vice versa. You should always take the best deal.

Phoenix will make the playoffs in the next years despite all their issues. Everyone will be so damned surprised. This only has happened a million times before in hockey.

Unless you've played for 20 years and next season is your last, only an idiot wouldn't take the best situation. Actually, even in this case. You can just be traded at the deadline.

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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby Jason » Tue Jun 12, 2018 3:55 pm

So Hoffman will be traded.

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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby SaintAngerBH » Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:31 pm

Nobody will make fun of you in Dallas, Erik.

Except TSF. But, that's because we're bastards like that.
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ScubaSteve
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby ScubaSteve » Tue Jun 12, 2018 4:40 pm

Good lord his wife is hot.
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Eskimo Spy wrote:I would of course make some jokes if any of you died

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cdanew
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby cdanew » Tue Jun 12, 2018 5:16 pm

ScubaSteve wrote:Good lord his wife is hot.


I am shocked, I tell you, shocked, that a professional athlete making millions of dollars has a hot wife. This is unheard of!

(But yeah, she is quite attractive)

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ToddM
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby ToddM » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:59 pm

Meh. She's no Thora Birch.

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oglethorpe
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby oglethorpe » Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:23 am

ScubaSteve wrote:Good lord his wife is hot.


How long before she would have an order of protection against TSF if Karlsson was here? LOL

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Troy McClure
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby Troy McClure » Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:13 am

Eh, not my kind of hot.
I got a ranch in downtown Dallas/I buy diamonds by the ton/Chase cuties in my Cadillac/Drill oil wells just for fun/But when it comes to boots, I need a deal/That will fit me right, toe to heel/So I get my boots at Western Warehouse.

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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby SaintAngerBH » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:03 pm

She looks like one of those new sex dolls. Like exactly like them.
~Marriage is like putting your hand into a bag of snakes in the hope of pulling out an eel.

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The Frugal Gourmet
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby The Frugal Gourmet » Wed Jun 13, 2018 4:19 pm

Exactly huh?

Excuse me I have to go order something on the internet.

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wonko80
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby wonko80 » Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:11 pm

The Frugal Gourmet wrote:Exactly huh?

Excuse me I have to go order something on the internet.

FRUGAL HOUSEHOLD:
Mrs Frugs: "Honey, why is there a human sized package from UPS marked over 70lbs?"

Frugal: "Don't worry, it's marked "NOT A SEX DOLL" so its obviously just a big board game I bought."
----

BAZZER HOUSEHOLD"
Mrs Frugs: "Honey, why is there a human sized package from UPS marked over 70lbs?"

Bazzer: "Over 70lbs?!? Refuse it. I clearly stated waifish... I mean, I don't remember ordering any large items."

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The Frugal Gourmet
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby The Frugal Gourmet » Wed Jun 13, 2018 9:35 pm

Nice.

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slaps
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby slaps » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:23 pm

cdanew wrote:
ScubaSteve wrote:Good lord his wife is hot.


I am shocked, I tell you, shocked, that a professional athlete making millions of dollars has a hot wife. This is unheard of!

(But yeah, she is quite attractive)



Further evidence of this speculation (Hoffman’s girlfriend is pictured):

https://people.com/sports/wife-nhl-star ... rbullying/

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The Frugal Gourmet
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby The Frugal Gourmet » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:24 pm

She’s actually way hotter in that series.

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ScubaSteve
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby ScubaSteve » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:26 pm

Karlsson’s wife is hotter than Hoffman’s girlfriend, so I’m on Team Karlsson here.
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Eskimo Spy wrote:I would of course make some jokes if any of you died

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ToddM
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby ToddM » Thu Jun 14, 2018 9:46 pm

So now that Hoffman is damaged goods, what will it take to get him? A fourth round pick in 2022?

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The Frugal Gourmet
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby The Frugal Gourmet » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:36 pm

More than damaged goods. He OD'd in his apartment a few years back.

Fortunately he had already wrapped up shooting on The Hungers Games III, or it would've been an absolute disaster.

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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby SaintAngerBH » Thu Jun 14, 2018 10:58 pm

*f-bomb* Hoffman. Give us Karlsson.
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby One_Timer » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:38 pm

Maybe Ottawa will take back slow ass Spezza for a 5th round pick and half the salary, just for PR and stability.

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Troy McClure
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby Troy McClure » Fri Jun 15, 2018 10:52 pm

We have a trade. I guess the Habs wanted to get more Canadian at that position.

I got a ranch in downtown Dallas/I buy diamonds by the ton/Chase cuties in my Cadillac/Drill oil wells just for fun/But when it comes to boots, I need a deal/That will fit me right, toe to heel/So I get my boots at Western Warehouse.

One_Timer
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby One_Timer » Fri Jun 15, 2018 11:09 pm

Ha Ha. Domi, Gallagher, and Shaw on the same team. Too funny.

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ScubaSteve
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby ScubaSteve » Fri Jun 15, 2018 11:29 pm

That trade doesn’t seem prudent.
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Eskimo Spy wrote:I would of course make some jokes if any of you died

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Troy McClure
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Re: 2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

Postby Troy McClure » Sat Jun 16, 2018 11:33 am

ScubaSteve wrote:That trade doesn’t seem prudent.

The end result is saving $1.85 million in cap space the next two seasons, but I don't know what they expect to do with the savings.

I got a ranch in downtown Dallas/I buy diamonds by the ton/Chase cuties in my Cadillac/Drill oil wells just for fun/But when it comes to boots, I need a deal/That will fit me right, toe to heel/So I get my boots at Western Warehouse.

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