2018 NHL Off-Season Thread

[The Frugal Gourmet]

That makes them the gayest team in hockey.

But we already knew that,

[Knives Out]

I hope San Francisco gets a team.

[slaps]

[SaintAngerBH]

Why would anyone stay with that franchise?

[ScubaSteve]

Low pressure, no media hassling you, lower cost of living. You can make your money and live a pretty carefree life, as long as you don't give a *poo poo* about your team winning. Same reason anyone would sign here.

[wonko80]

Maybe he's really into GILFs.

[Troy McClure]

Short seasons. You play your 82, and then have five months off.

[The Frugal Gourmet]

Eh. Everyone that is bad is eventually good again. And vice versa. You should always take the best deal.

Phoenix will make the playoffs in the next years despite all their issues. Everyone will be so damned surprised. This only has happened a million times before in hockey.

Unless you've played for 20 years and next season is your last, only an idiot wouldn't take the best situation. Actually, even in this case. You can just be traded at the deadline.

[Jason]

So Hoffman will be traded.

[SaintAngerBH]

Nobody will make fun of you in Dallas, Erik.

Except TSF. But, that's because we're bastards like that.

[ScubaSteve]

Good lord his wife is hot.

[cdanew]

Good lord his wife is hot.

I am shocked, I tell you, shocked, that a professional athlete making millions of dollars has a hot wife. This is unheard of!

(But yeah, she is quite attractive)

[ToddM]

Meh. She's no Thora Birch.

[oglethorpe]

Good lord his wife is hot.

How long before she would have an order of protection against TSF if Karlsson was here? LOL

[Troy McClure]

Eh, not my kind of hot.

[SaintAngerBH]

She looks like one of those new sex dolls. Like exactly like them.

[The Frugal Gourmet]

Exactly huh?

Excuse me I have to go order something on the internet.

[wonko80]

Exactly huh?

Excuse me I have to go order something on the internet.

FRUGAL HOUSEHOLD:
Mrs Frugs: "Honey, why is there a human sized package from UPS marked over 70lbs?"

Frugal: "Don't worry, it's marked "NOT A SEX DOLL" so its obviously just a big board game I bought."
----

BAZZER HOUSEHOLD"
Mrs Frugs: "Honey, why is there a human sized package from UPS marked over 70lbs?"

Bazzer: "Over 70lbs?!? Refuse it. I clearly stated waifish... I mean, I don't remember ordering any large items."

[The Frugal Gourmet]

Nice.

[slaps]

Good lord his wife is hot.

I am shocked, I tell you, shocked, that a professional athlete making millions of dollars has a hot wife. This is unheard of!

(But yeah, she is quite attractive)

Further evidence of this speculation (Hoffman’s girlfriend is pictured):

https://people.com/sports/wife-nhl-star ... rbullying/

[The Frugal Gourmet]

She’s actually way hotter in that series.

[ScubaSteve]

Karlsson’s wife is hotter than Hoffman’s girlfriend, so I’m on Team Karlsson here.

[ToddM]

So now that Hoffman is damaged goods, what will it take to get him? A fourth round pick in 2022?

[The Frugal Gourmet]

More than damaged goods. He OD'd in his apartment a few years back.

Fortunately he had already wrapped up shooting on The Hungers Games III, or it would've been an absolute disaster.

[SaintAngerBH]

*f-bomb* Hoffman. Give us Karlsson.

[One_Timer]

Maybe Ottawa will take back slow ass Spezza for a 5th round pick and half the salary, just for PR and stability.

[Troy McClure]

We have a trade. I guess the Habs wanted to get more Canadian at that position.

[One_Timer]

Ha Ha. Domi, Gallagher, and Shaw on the same team. Too funny.

[ScubaSteve]

That trade doesn’t seem prudent.

[Troy McClure]

That trade doesn’t seem prudent.

The end result is saving $1.85 million in cap space the next two seasons, but I don't know what they expect to do with the savings.